Stop Giving Women Weak Guns: You’re Not Helping, You’re Hurting

Respect her ability. Equip her to fight. Stop selling her short.

By: Family of Patriots

Men, we need to talk.

If you're the guy who bought his wife, girlfriend, mom, sister, or daughter a .380 thinking you were doing her a favor, this one’s for you. If you told a female friend, “You should start with a .22,” thinking you were handing out good advice, buckle up. Because what you meant as helpful might actually get someone you care about killed.

Let’s break this down.... blunt, tactical, and real.

.22 for Self-Defense? Come On.

Yes, a .22 can kill. So can a paperclip if it hits the right artery. That doesn’t mean it’s reliable for stopping a threat.

Can it be used in self-defense? Technically.

Will it stop someone when it counts? Unlikely.

We’re talking about the worst-case scenario: a violent attacker, close range, adrenaline flooding your body, chaos in full swing. In that moment, you want a round that punches hard, penetrates deep, and gets the job done the first time, not something that might do enough damage after 8 or 9 rounds (if you’re lucky).

Let’s Talk About the Real Offenders: .25 ACP, .32, and .380

Let’s just get this out of the way:

The .25 ACP is a novelty round at best. A great option if you’re trying to piss off a particularly aggressive chipmunk. As a good friend of mine says, “It’s the right caliber when you want to annoy someone into stopping.”

The .32 ACP? What are we doing here.... playing poker in a 1920s brothel?

This ain’t the Wild West, and your woman isn’t hiding a garter gun under a saloon table. Modern threats require modern tools. We’ve come way too far in ballistics to still be suggesting outdated, underpowered cartridges.

And the .380? That one deserves its own rant…

The .380 Trap: It’s NOT a Step Up

You think .380 is the “perfect in-between.” Smaller than 9mm, more power than .22. Just enough to get the job done.... right?

Wrong.

Let’s clear this up right now:

The .380 is a marketing trap.

Here’s the reality:

• It’s literally called 9mm Short. It’s the same diameter as a 9mm, but with less powder, less pressure, and less energy.

• Most .380 pistols are built smaller, which means less control, more recoil, and worse handling.

• Smaller frame guns = snappier recoil and slower follow-up shots.

• Ammo? More expensive, harder to find, and less effective.

So what are you really doing when you hand her a .380?

You’re giving her less gun that’s harder to shoot well and costs more to train with. That’s not support. That’s sabotage dressed up as “being helpful.”

Real Talk: A Story from the Counter

Let me tell you what actually happens, because I’ve seen it over and over again.

A guy walks into the shop. Says he’s looking for a gun for his wife. “I think a .380 will be perfect for her,” he says, usually followed by, “I saw a guy on YouTube recommending it.”

Let’s stop right there.

YouTube is not gospel. Stop listening to it like it's the end-all-be-all. Watch it for content, sure.... but leave the advice in the sponsored video it came from. A lot of those guys are just reading checks from companies to pitch specific guns and calibers. That’s not real-world training. That’s marketing.

So when I hear a man say he’s picking out the gun for her, I shut it down immediately. I tell him:

“She needs to come in herself. This is too important for you to pick the wrong gun on her behalf.”

Because here’s the truth: when she comes into the store, tries out different options, gets hands-on and gets involved, she walks away owning that choice, not just physically, but mentally. She feels more confident. She’s more willing to train. She takes it seriously.

But if you just show up at home with a gun in a box, saying, “Here, babe, this one’s for you”.... what happens? She puts it in the drawer. Maybe she shoots it once. It becomes a false sense of security.

Now, this isn’t aimed at the active female shooters out there. You already know what works for you, and you’ve put in the time to learn your platforms.

This is for the guys trying to check a box by “getting her something, just in case.” If that’s your mindset, you better get it right.... or you’re just giving her a false layer of confidence that could cost her life.

If She Can Shoot a .380, She Can Shoot a 9mm

Let’s kill this idea that 9mm is “too much gun” for her.

You know what’s actually too much? Giving someone a round that underperforms and a micro gun that bucks like a mule and handles like garbage.

9mm is the standard for a reason. It’s reliable. It hits hard. It’s everywhere.

And when it’s paired with a good-size pistol with solid ergonomics? It’s more controllable than most .380s on the market.

We’ve trained women of every size, age, and background.... and time after time, the gun they shoot best is usually a compact or full-size 9mm.

It’s not about strength. It’s about setup and mindset.

Training Over Caliber: The Actual Fix

Let’s be real.... no caliber is a substitute for bad training.

If she doesn’t know how to run the gun, it doesn’t matter what it’s chambered in.

If she isn’t confident, practiced, and mentally prepared, then you’ve already failed her before the fight begins.

So instead of looking for the “softest shooting gun,” start looking for the most shootable, trainable, confidence-building setup.

Then invest in time on the range, good instruction, and dry fire reps.

Empower her with skill, not softness.

Ask Yourself This...

Who do you think is more likely to be the target of sexual violence.... men or women?

Exactly! Women.

So let me ask you this:

If, God forbid, someone you care about (your wife, your daughter, your girlfriend) is ever in that position, do you want her to be armed with something that hits like a bee sting to the gut?

Or do you want her to have the ability to shatter bone, drop the threat, and walk away alive?

This is real life, not fantasy camp. The stakes are as high as they get.

You don’t get to “hope for the best” with a half-powered gun in a moment like that. You need to make damn sure the weapon in her hand is capable of stopping someone with the full force of a defensive caliber (like a 9mm) that’s proven to do its job under pressure.

Stop asking, “What’s easy for her?”

Start asking, “What will actually protect her?”

This Isn’t About Ego, It’s About Respect

When you hand her a .25, .32, .380, or even a .22 because you think it’s “all she can handle,” you’re not empowering her. You’re projecting your assumptions and handing her a liability.

You’re telling her:

“You’re too weak for the real thing, so here’s this watered-down version.”

You wouldn’t put weak brakes on her car. You wouldn’t buy her a seatbelt that might work. So why the hell are you okay handing her a gun that might stop a threat?

What To Do Instead

Here’s how to do it right:

✅ Let her try multiple platforms.

✅ Start with 9mm—in a full-size or compact gun that absorbs recoil well.

✅ Prioritize grip fit, trigger reach, and sight acquisition—not caliber.

✅ Invest in training, not myths.

✅ Give her the same respect you’d give a male shooter.

This isn’t about making her “feel comfortable.” It’s about making her capable.

Final Words

If you love her—arm her with something real.

Stop buying her weak calibers and pretending it's care.

Give her what you'd trust your own life with.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about the gun.

It’s about the confidence to use it—and the power to survive.

Don’t give her a pocket pistol.

Give her the tools to fight back and win.